Could’a, Should’a, Would’a
by Goofy Edward
Summary: Set a few months after MGS1. Otacon goes on a sneaking mission with Snake. Full of awkward moments! Can love bloom in a box? Extremely light Snake/Otacon. Funny fluff.


Author: Goofy Edward

Pairing: Very light Snake/Otacon

Could'a, Should'a, Would'a

Their mission was to infiltrate a warehouse eighty miles away from Dave's Alaskan shake they had been staying at. The warehouse was poorly guarded; it had taken a few Socom magazine clips to clear the area before signaling Otacon in. Needing to break him into being a stronger man, Dave requested that he come. And by request he in no means used subtle intimidation, surely.

The warehouse was comprised of rows upon rows of wooden and metal crates. One of these crates held top-secret Metal Gear prototype parts for the up and coming Metal Gear Mini.

The idea of a miniature sized Rex seemed kind of cute to Hal but that thought was brushed off by the stern 'are-you-retarded?' look Dave gave him. The world's politicians would be fighting over yet another death tank, but this one was assured to never leave the building; they did send in the famous Solid Snake.

Once securely inside, Snake patrolled the area as Otacon set up his laptop on the floor, pages of script scrolling down its screen. The dim glow of the monitor was the only source of light aside from a series of small bared windows placed high across the north wall.

Pad pad pad. Shift.

Pad pad pad. Shift.

Pad pad pa-"Snaaake"

Abruptly stopping his tensed stalking Snake looked the ten feet over to a rather exasperated Otacon.

"Please, Snake. The room is secure. I've even checked the radar," Hal said, pointing to his screen. "Please try to relax."

Shifting, Snake stood in a slightly hunched manner, doing his best to look relaxed. Spying an empty wooden crate on its side he approached it casually. Crouching down he began pressing its sides, flipping it over and testing its durability. Finally, he scuttled under it.

Screech-y

"Hnn…Heavy..," he mumbled deep and gruff as he attempted another dragging step.

Feeling a gaze on him, or his newfound box, rather, he snapped his head in the direction of Otacon's location, the man having stopped fiddling with the laptop to watch him intently.

"What is it?" the disembodied voice demanded gruffly.

Jumping at the unexpected question, Hal took a moment to slide his glasses up his nose before answering. Blinking stupidly, lips parted in wonder, "…err...N-nothing," the engineer managed.

Perplexed, Hal idly wondered if Snake was belittling him about his comment to relax. Over the past several months Hal had yet to grasp the man's bizarre sense of humor. If someone said Dave lived under a rock, they might just be right.

A beep alerted his gaze back to the computer screen. The image on the monitor was lit green with yellow boxes and one box had a red dot over it.

"Snake, I've found the location of the Mini!" Hal said cheerfully but unsure if he should speak louder so that Snake could hear him.

Too busy switching pages and shutting down his computer; Otacon did not hear Snake crawl out from under the crate to stand a foot behind him. Sliding his laptop into his shoulder bag and picking up a crowbar he stood, adjusting the strap. Turning abruptly to call out Snake's name again only to find him a few inches away, he gave a short, startled shriek and clutched his crowbar to his chest and left shoulder.

"Jeez. And you said _I_ needed to relax," the stealth drawled lazily giving a soft snort of a laugh. Hal had looked a bit like the woman from The Shining when her husband was breaking into the bathroom with an axe.

Embarrassed and crestfallen, Otacon thrust the crowbar at Snake and walked in the direction of the mission objective. After a few good minutes of trying to pry the lid off without damaging the contents, not that they were not going to be destroyed anyway, the prototype Metal Gear Mini parts were revealed.

"It looks like a big version of one of those plastic toys you put together," Dave mentioned, screwing up his face.

"They're not _toys_, Snake! There is an art form to building Mechs. They are model kits made of high quality _resin_. And not that cheap, flaky Tai resin either. Tai cast kits tend to snap more easily and have more mold seams than…"trailing off, Hal realized he had gone off on a tangent like usual. Snake had already planted several loafs of C4 and a time detonator into the crate and was sliding the lid back on.

"C'mon," Dave huffed.

The pair made their way out of the warehouse, Snake stopping to place more C4 at the entrance. Otacon went on ahead running to their escape vehicle. Snake arrived shortly after, sliding onto the driver's seat of the snowmobile. Speeding along a few yards up a snowy hill overlooking the warehouse Snake detonated the C4. He and Hal watched as the warehouse exploded an angry orange and black against the backdrop of the Aurora Borealis. Hal gave a happy sigh and leaned his head on Dave's strong shoulder.

'We've done it. We stopped another Metal Gear from falling into the wrong hands,' Hal wibbled in his head, making another happy sigh and wrapping his arms securely around Dave's toned back and abdomen. A big, silly smile broke out across his stubbled jaw. The beautiful sky, the firelight and Dave made it all very romantic.

Vaguely feeling Hal's embrace, Dave stared off into the flames, his face contorted with a wistful and somber expression.

'I should'a got that box.'

END

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Disclaimer: I am not Hideo Kojima. If I was, Snake Eater would have been a much more literal game..

Author's Notes:

I hope you all liked it: it was my first real attempt at a fanfic. It was going to be a yaoi smutfest but turned into a comedy instead. ;


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